Communication and Learning are Dialogues!

There is an inherent danger lurking within the expert/client or master/novice relationship that we all need to be mindful of...and it is this. Being an expert or master only exists within the boundaries of that particular expertise or mastery. Overriding all of this is the human and personal relationship - and in this none of us is an expert or a master. What differentiates us is our level of knowledge through experience, our level of empathy through understanding, our level of rapport through trust and synchronicity, and our level of acknowledgement through respect.

Communication and Learning are fluid and dynamic and should be a dialogue, should work both ways. Once we are comforable with this philosophy, then we cannot have anything but have a deep love and understanding of what brings us to how we are being as coaches, trainers, educators, mentors, facilitators and teachers.

I wrote a published article called "Acknowledge the Knowledge - and Spend it!" in which I illustrate the importance of the communication and learning dialogue. I also go on to point out why we should all "spend our knowledge" rather than hoard it - since Wisdom comes from spending our knowledge. Here is that article:-

Part of my acknowledgment of living is that I learn something new every day. This can be something experienced or something cognitively deduced or something insightful. Whichever way it is sourced, I always try to be true to acknowledging the wonder - and to thank the provider.

I believe it is part of what enables me to keep an open mind on everything and helps me maintain an understanding, a respect and a humility for my fellow humans.

Working a lot with children brings all these beliefs and values right up to the surface, in close proximity, and - by the very nature of coaching and teaching - it means that I spend a lot of time dispensing knowledge or routes to knowledge.

This is a relationship, however, and an equilibrium has to be maintained for this relationship to work best. All communication is a two way thing even though the balance of speak/hear, give/receive, talk/listen, show/copy, teach/learn etc ebbs and flows through the interactions of the relationship. There are times when I'm the learner/receiver and the child is the teacher/giver - its inevitable - it happens. And its at these times when I'm enthused, and I acknowledge the knowledge.

I love the look on a child's face when I thank them for helping ME learn something new today. They can't quite believe what they hear - because they are always used to knowledge, understandings, teachings, to be going in only one direction.

This acknowledgment builds and maintains rapport, which is essential for the teacher/learner or coach/client relationship to prosper, for learnings on both sides to be fostered. A few years back I discovered that by preframing every new school term of coaching visits by telling each class "For me, you are all geniuses - the thing is you don't yet know what you are geniuses at! Part of our journey of discovery this term is to discover what that might be," - that the outcomes in terms of learning skills through enjoyment for every pupil were momentous.

Knowledge is the currency of wisdom - and in the same way that money is worthless unless it is used - knowledge is worthless until it is used. Money and knowledge are purely means of exchange. Learning is an illusion until we use, or spend, the knowledge. To be clever, or artful, is of no use until the person converts their knowledge, uses their skills, for a purpose.

For now - all of us need to acknowledge the knowledge, and spend it!

Creating Your Vision

Ever woken up and had a "Eureka" moment, where you have just seen the future and the career and life that you really want is visualised there, in front of you?

Many of us find ourselves in that situation more than once in a lifetime, and it fills us with purpose, energy and drive to do something positive and meaningful.

How many of us have actually "realised" this vision? Probably none of us.

There are several reasons for this:

1. We become fixed to the outcomes and circumstances rather than focussing on the task of 'creating' or 'building' the vision
2. We listen to the opinions and criticisms of the vision from others, and decide they must be right rather than trusting your own wisdom
3. We rationalise our situation and then find excuses and barriers to success
4. We become overwhelmed by our thoughts about all the possible outcomes, and convince ourselves that we cannot possibly "deliver the goods"

I can guarantee that you have displayed at least 1 of the 4 behaviours before in some form when planning action.

The key point here is to see that these are external influences that we are clinging onto. Everything you see above is a product of thought, not reality.

Take this example:

You set out that you want to give every client the body and lifestyle they desire. That they really can achieve anything they want with you training them.
This is your vision

No matter what, that will not change - if it is something you are truly passionate about and have come to you in one of 'those' moments I mentioned earlier

Having not created this or even started it, who is to say whether it will be successful or not?

Noone, not even you

The only way it will 100% NOT be successful is to not take the next step and start creating the vision

The phrase "paralysis by analysis" is a very apt one in this case, because to think too much about something is clouding your judgement with too many thoughts to really find the truly right option.

Some call this "getting to the heart of the matter"

A way to improve this when working with client's, and getting better results --> faster, is listening with no intent. The idea that by shutting off your conscious mind for a period of time, it will enable your wisdom to come through and find the perfect solution and set of objectives for you and your client.

Put this into practice and you will be well on the way to realising your client's vision, and I don't doubt, some way to realising your own.