Approval v Value = The Mindset War

I had a discussion with a PT today, and it sparked a real thought in my head about the 2 conflicting mindsets that exist - not just in the fitness industry, but for every individual in every context, everywhere.

At some point in time, we have all been in the mindset that we need something to solve our problems, e.g. get 10 more clients and I will have enough money and my manager will be off my back, I need a girlfriend to be normal/like my friends, I need £1,000,000 to be happy. There are endless possibilities, you get the idea!

Conversely, at some point in time we have all been free of need and done things because we want to make a difference with something/someone. We give our time to someone who looks like they could use the help, we offer free advice or we do some coaching for a project were really passionate about.

So what's the difference in these mindsets, and how can you choose?


Approval

Commonly associated with phrases like "need", "have to" and "must", the approval mindset is born out of a deep rooted inability to know your own true worth. It is sometimes situational, but always stems from the 'need' to prove yourself/your worth.
If you've ever been in a relationship with someone, you'll know that neediness is the single biggest killer of any connection. It gives rise to frustration, anger and...well...there's a whole lot of negatives here.
At the start of a relationship, or first meeting, it can be spotted easily and is frankly like carbon monoxide - You may not know it's there, but its definitely going to wipe out anything in its path - in this case, your ability to build the relationship further.

Now you all know the commonalities of Approval Seeking, you will know whether you have ever been in that position before. What it looked, sounded and felt like to each of us is different, so its important to notice what you notice if you have one of these 'moments' in the future, and take action.

This mindset is common, because we are encouraged to do it by those around us. Most of Western business is based on the thought of stress, anxiety, tension and emotion being a good thing for us - and going often not falling in line with this thinking is seen as 'abnormal'.
So if you are a person who seeks approval often, and needs things to make all the difference, you're not alone.

Value

The value mindset comes from a different place to most others. When you know the value of who you are and what you do, everything becomes about using your time to give your best skills and attributes to those who will get maximum benefit.

I actually met someone today with this mindset. He is a PT, and we spoke about the lack of need to get lots and lots of clients when he started. He decided that to be the best PT he could be, he had to have his best interests at heart, as well as those of his clients. As a result, he decided that he was going to PT only between 8 and 6 Monday to Friday. He was an excellent PT with a steady business, and had regular clients who came back time after time. He even let go the ones that did not respect the value they were getting, and who often turned up late but with no apology.

When you have something of value, you have no problem in knowing the value of it. You set the parameters for those who are interested in taking that value, and the price. This is the building block for how you charge what you are really worth, and how you set the hours you want to work in. It is how some people make 2-3 times what others are making, with the same information, experience and skill. This is a skill that can be worked on, it is not something 'you just have', but something you can acquire.


How can I choose?

I had a PT come to me the other day with a problem. "I have no problem showcasing my PT, but when it comes to getting people to sign on the dotted line for my sessions, I don't know what to do".

I pointed out that she was looking at this from a 100% approval mindset - I dont like to ask for money because they might feel like im trying to sell them something!

Fact - people are interested in PT because, in the most part, they already see the value in doing it as oppose to doing their training alone.

All you have to do is reinforce the value that your client's are going to get from you. Then, the money is not an issue, because your charging for your time. There is no 'sale' as such. They are agreeing to work with you. Your time is valuable and in demand, so they are paying for the privilege. In return they will get you and your expertise.

You can always choose your mindset, and the more you choose value, the less choice you will have to make and the greater understanding you will have of your own worth.

Try the bold paragraph out as an affirmation - say it out loud or in your head as if you're speaking to yourself. Say it more than once if this is more effective. Do this before your next interaction and report back on the results