Body Language Basics - Eye Contact

So we've all heard that 'Body Language' is a massively important part of interactions and relationships, and that it conveys plenty of information about a person and what they are saying (e.g. if it is authentic, whether they actually believe it and so on).

Ever found yourself in a situation where you weren't very confident in what you said to someone even though you really believed it? Did you hold eye contact throughout?

Maybe you were really trying to get across how good your product is, or the value of someone paying for your services, but didn't quite get them 'hooked'? Did you hold eye contact throughout?

If your answer to the first question was 'Yes', then the likelihood is your answer to the second was 'No'.

I want you to consider the power of eye contact, how it can improve your credibility and give you authority before you say a single word.

Eye contact is one of the most powerful sub communication tools for any human. Recent research by the University of Alabama concluded that in experts, those with high levels of eye contact with their audience had significantly higher credibility levels than those that had medium and low levels.

I think most of us would consider ourselves the 'experts' in the trainer-client relationship,as they are paying for skills and expertise that we have.

So this should go some way to convincing you that it is important enough for you to be aware of it, and to work on it.

To those of you that disagree, let me give you another perspective:

Research by marine scientists and shark experts has proven that direct eye contact with a shark can deter it from attacking you.

Metaphorically this is pretty powerful. If you knew that practising eye contact could one day save your life, wouldn't you be more motivated to try it out, and discover what other benefits you could acquire from such practise???  I know I would be first in line in the staring championships!

There are lots of ways to practice eye contact, but here I will break it down into 3 easy stages. I invite you to go through all 3 in turn, and then choose whichever is relevant to you at the time. Once you get comfortable, move on to another technique to keep your learning curve rising.

Mirror Practice

With yourself, keep eye contact in the mirror for a total of 1 minute, with a 20 second break. Do this a total of 10 reps a day for 1 week. Notice what you notice about yourself (or don't notice), and always stay present in the conscious. If you find yourself drifting out, take your break and have another go, but start your 10 reps again.


Practice with a Friend/Colleague

A good confidence builder. In 10 daily conversations with friends or colleagues, as they speak look them right in the eye until it is your turn. Again, notice what you notice about what they are saying to you, and feel how natural it feels. When it is your turn to talk, repeat the eye contact. Once you get good, try talking about a subject that you would normally avoid. Notice how much more receptive your audience are with your viewpoint. Do this at least 3 days a week for as long as you need to make it automatic.

Practice with Clients

Now you're ready to use this with your clients. You probably do some of this already in your interactions, so I want you to do this specifically when you are saying something that you 100% believe in, but are not confident saying to another person. Maintain eye contact as you deliver your message, and notice what you notice about how receptive they are to what you say. Practice this on your next 10 clients, and your next 10 potential ones and measure your success. Reinforce with friend/colleague practice for your following 20 and notice the difference.

Take this forward and learn every day

To your vision

Asa